#NaBloPoMo: Day#5: Soul- Love is the nature of the soul!

#NaBloPoMo

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Well! This is the Day 5 card and I have to say I am a bit flummoxed, for self-love doesn’t come easy to me. Blame it on the years of parental conditioning. Our household never saw expressions of love and communicating with each other was also not considered big.

The general rule of the house was “Do as you are told” and it brooked no arguments. I don’t remember hugs or kisses or praise in any form. There was loads of feedback – the critiquing kind and of course the endless (read mindless) comparisons.

“Look at A; she is so fair”

“Why can’t you be smart like B”

“If only you could sing like C or cook or dance or…………………”

It didn’t help with my self-confidence, I must confess. And then once the rebel surfaced (yeah teenage was turbulent), I became the surly questioner prefacing everything with “Why”

“Why can’t I do this”

“Why am I not allowed”

“Why am I denied, when he/she is not”

Oh yes…. the defiance had truly surfaced and when fear (strict parenting) dominated, the defiance dulled but didn’t quiet down. In fact it took on a more deadly face; self-destruction, albeit in a slow and quiet manner. I became a loner and the quiet one; exploding with anger at the drop of a hat. Frustration was key in me at that point in my life and it stayed with me for quite sometime.

So where and how would self-love develop?

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It wasnt easy but through many failures, heartbreak and strength numbing events in my life; I was guided to a path of self-love of sorts when I made some tough decisions and stood by them; despite zero family support. I didn’t know then that it was self-love that I was practicing – I just knew I couldn’t endure anymore.

Then a year back I stumbled onto a meditation guide who invited me to her sunday open house here in Gurgaon and it was like I discovered the mothership. I am learning to love myself, forgive myself and above all accept myself as I am !!! Slow journey but getting there surely but steadily.

♥ I have realised the need for love and I say it all the time; especially to people who are comfortable to say it back. (There are not that many) 

♥ I love to give and receive hugs- in fact I bask in them, trying to hold on as long as I can.

♥ I have set aside ME time in the day, when I just be with myself.

♥ I am making the effort to give myself leeway and not blame things on myself or feel guilty.

Do you believe in self-love? Do you practice it? Whats your take on it?


November 2016 is my month to participate in the NaBloPoMo with Blogher

I am also participating in Blogbuddy 3.0 with Blogchatter and my team is called BlogBusters

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Passionate about everything design, I am in love with photography, travel and baking. My writing journey was initiated with my letter writing hobby as a child and has metamorphosised into serious blogging. I indulge with reading fantasy fiction, day dreaming and sipping good wine.

14 thoughts on “#NaBloPoMo: Day#5: Soul- Love is the nature of the soul!

  1. Love the tip and practice for the day. It’s so true. Self love is so very important. When we love ourselves, everything else falls into line. I am liking the series you are doing for this NaBloPoMo!

  2. Shalini, most of us are raised in such situations. Parents feel they are doing the right thing, little do they realize how much it destroys things. I have had tough times and have learned early in life certain things. Self-love being the first.
    It is amazing you have realized too and are working on it.
    **Hugs**

    1. A big big hug right back at ya Ramya. Yeah I know what you mean and its a very tough process but I am learning and doing it. Thanks so much for your kind words.

  3. Well yes it is difficult to love yourselves when we are being compared with others. I understand how hard it must have been. But you know what, once we learn to love ourselves we become strong enough to face any challenges that life throws at us.

  4. Oh, I hate comparisons. In my childhood many times I heard people comparing me with someone else, someone better, non-stop. I learned not to do that. Glad to know that you figured out self-love, Shalini. Spending quality me time is very important. 🙂

    1. Thanks Vinitha. Comparisons are such an esteem killer na!?! Its very hard to stop doing that and start learning to accept yourself. Thanks for stopping to read and share.

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