As a single girl who just started living on her own in a metropolis like Delhi, it wont be at all wrong to assume that I was one of those totally consumed with the single woman life version of the popular sitcom Sex and the City. There! I said it.
It’s another matter that the male population of the teeming metro have only been able to filter in the word Sex from it. So as a single woman, living alone – I had two very big advantages.
- Single Woman
- Living alone
Put them together, every man – married on not; had to hit on me!
Sadly the 30+ single men populace of the city were a disappointing lot when it came to impressing me. I was looking to be wooed into “that” perfect relationship which leads to one place – holy matrimony! They were looking to explore sexual options, without spending too much for it !! Shaadi, btw, will happen when “mummyji” finds a “suitable” girl!!!
And of course the married ones ( 30+, 40+, even 50+) wanted sex too but this was to be a no strings attached deal; which in their heads (the one between their legs) was a win-win situation all around.
How???????????, you ask!!
I did too and now stay tuned for some real pearls of wisdom from these so-called SUNS around whom the planet called WIFE orbits in her perfect universe of MARRIAGE, unaware that they are busy upgrading to LOVERS looking for SATELLITES a.k.a. girlfriends!!!
SUN Type 1 (ST1): My wife does not love me anymore, forcing me to look elsewhere for it. I am so lonely.
Me: As a single woman dreaming about marriage, why would I be interested in being your love interest? Why would I want to tie myself to a dead-end relationship?
(ST1): Only till you are single, you are of course free to find someone to get married to. I am not asking you to fall in love with me.
Me: If we do fall in love, wont that be worth it? Wont that be enough to leave her to begin a marriage with me?
(ST1): Are you crazy? Why would I want to wreck my “respectable” marriage with a girl from a good family for a girl who has no compunction in sleeping with me before marriage? God knows how many you have slept with before me! You sleep with me and I will take you out shopping and to places to eat and……..
Me…….>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> runs away!
SUN Type 2 (ST2): Since I travel so much for work, it gets boring in the evening and the bar is the perfect place for me to hook-up with like-minded women looking for the same. Whats wrong with that?
Me: Nothing wrong with that as long as you both are consenting adults. But when you apply it to me, I am not interested. (My questions remain the same as above)
(ST2): You are young and beautiful (translation: single and living alone) and would love to do it with you.
Me: But whats in it for me? I am looking for a long-term relationship.
(ST2): So who says this arrangement can’t work for as long as we are interested.
Me: Then why have a wife?
(ST2): She looks after my kids and parents and generally takes care of the family functions – which ones to go for, what to take, what to wear…. Who will do all that for me?
Me: When we get married, me!!
(ST2): Oh baby you are to be worshipped in my fantasies, not taken home to mom!!!!
Me…….>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Yup you guessed it; still running away to date!
Sun Type 3 (ST3) is found on an online dating portal for singles.
(ST3): I am just looking for some fun thats why am here. Why does my married status bother you so much to say an outright no to me. You are such a racist.
Me: Racist!!? How?
(ST3): You discriminate against married men! And if you are looking to be so pious and want single men, I suggest you go to shaadi.com because “Good girls” don’t look for “dates”!!!
BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK!!!!!
Essentially an overwhelming double standards exists out there against single women looking to date as they are “convenient” as sexual options but not “pure” enough to be married to! And this by men who are looking for adulterous relationships!
Welcome to the Indian version of Sex and the city !! 😉
Come support this initiative with your opinion if you feel strongly about body/image shaming; for I am hosting folks writing their experiences, opinions on this topic on my blog for next few weeks.
This post has been written for the Third prompt of the #BarAThon “ Suns and lovers” – My eternal question in defense on single womens rights – Is looking to go out on a date means we are setting ourselves up to be branded as whores? Why is it OK for married men to have affairs in the name of fun but single women to have fun is such blasphemy?
You can Catch the other posts in this series here: