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|The Great Indian Men-tality | Women’s Day 2017 |

The fact of the matter is that a man in India is revered by his;

  • Family, for he would ensure progression of generation plus money would come in on his wedding as opposed to a girls, where it goes out (dowry)
  • Father, for he would take care of business / his old age , etc.
  • Mother, for she could boast of her fertility.
  • Wife, for having landed future security.

Yet the wonderman fails to deliver at so many levels, especially when viewed from the eyes of an Indian woman. There are different set of rules for men and women; often to a woman’s disadvantage.

On this woman’s day, I am just penning down a few thoughts on this disparity and why. Maybe my readers could  help me analyse this paradoxical treatment of Indian women by Indian men!

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The trouble with the great Indian Men-tality is that in our homes and families, the boys are taught to respect their mother and sisters but not their gender. Often you would find the men being possessive and protective of  izzat of women of their family (due to ill-conceived notions) but have no compunction in sullying/harassing other women.

In fact, Indian (hindi) words for mother and sister are used in terrible ugly abuses, coined no doubt by some man who hadn’t ever had the foggiest idea of respect for a woman.

It’s so common to see Indian men laying down the law for their sisters and wives when it comes to dressing, talking, going out in public, socializing with other men, even decisions pertaining to finances, education and marriage/lifestyle, etc.

Why is it so important to them for women to conform to their rules?

How did these rules/logic come into existence?

Who confirmed that these were right?

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Honor killings are a common though often hushed affair in India. No, not just in rural India but cosmopolitan cities as well. And no, not limited to any particular religion or community.

Indian men have little or no bladder control. So it’s not unusual to see them openly piddling on pavements in markets and other public spaces. Wonder what stuff are feminine bladders constructed of – blotting paper perhaps!?!

It alright for the men to show their male member spouting a stream of pee. Dare a woman show a leg, arm or some skin. Why that’s an excuse to molest her because of course she is asking for trouble by tantalizing their mardangi . And lo and behold you have a rape in India which is often swept under the carpet by political leadership as boys will be boys.

Indian male libido is highly enhanced owing to the fact that they are the self-appointed keepers of the land of Kamasutra. So if they desire to have sex (consent doesnt matter), the woman either oblige and enjoy it or scream and cry – but the man will need his satisfaction.

An Indian female by contrast, has no such desires owing to the fact that her sex is not allowed to indulge in sexual fantasies – super mind control you see!!! 😉

Then there is the infamous crotch play, no doubt designed as some exotic mating ritual by the neanderthal man. It’s another matter that the women find it disgusting, often making them scratch their heads – “when is the last time, he washed there?

Again womanly privates seem to be made of tougher stuff to withstand the urge to itch, scratch or simply play. Maybe they are just overtly hygiene conscious. Feminine OCD I tell you has a lot to answer for this. 😉

If a woman catches the male fancy, she should be flattered and simply catapult to his charms. Never mind if he is unemployed, alcoholic or simply barely educated; or most importantly not to her liking. Saying no, results in the obvious male wrath – ask any acid burn victim in India. Also tell me if you have heard of any woman throwing acid on a man of her ill begotten fancy?

When a woman did dare to  declare her love for an Indian man, it led to  the disfigurement of her facial features and a public ridicule ( by THE man) which still echoes in the annals of Indian mythology . Anyone remembers Shoorpanakha!?!

It’s traditional for a male colleague to hit on a female one – never mind that he is married, older or simply repulsive. on the other hand, if the woman chooses to have an affair, then she is a shameless hussy out to trample a marriage in the wake of her ambition.

Indian cinema is plagued with double standards of another dimension when it comes to a woman. One hand you will have the ubiquitous Ma (the epitome of piety and sacrifice) and the holier than thou perfection endowed Wife while on the other hand there will be the Slut or Vamp or simply the Item number. It’s ok for a man to serenade his heroine shirtless and for her to accidentally of course, display her ample bosom. But once she is married to him, all western wear disappears from her wardrobe not to mention that her über chic hairstyle also magically transforms into lush long tresses.

Now if only I had this magical formula to make my hair grow at such lengths overnight, sigh!!!!!!

In fact 100 years from now when future sociologists will study us based on our films, literature and news archives; it will offer reams of the strange paradox of the great Indian Men-tality . I shudder at the image we will be perceived with.

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The truth of the matter is, Indian male tries to control, subjugate and even torture the woman to feel superior and get her to align with his expectation of her behaviour. Every Indian woman faces this everyday from every man in her life. Be it –

  • Husband or son, when it comes to family
  • Boss or subordinate, when it comes to work sphere
  • Society on the whole, when it comes to choosing her lifestyle
  • Even other women…..

Every year, and this year too, there is so much hullabaloo over  Woman’s Day by corporates, hospitality chains, clothing and other feminine goods companies to pamper the “weaker” sex but the day after, its she who has to clean up all the mess left behind from the celebrations!


I will be writing a series of Women oriented post this march; hope you will stay tuned!!!

Linking my post with #MondayMusings hosted by Corinne


Linking up this post with #mg hosted by Mackenzie Glanville

Connecting with Dew and Zainab for the #ClickAndBlogAStory
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30 thoughts on “|The Great Indian Men-tality | Women’s Day 2017 |

  1. Alas, the points u have mentioned are pertinent and prevalent. Apart from changing the very thoughts and laws of this & every country – i see no solution. Also, extremely strict laws – offences MUST be punished!
    Thank you for adding a bit of humour to otherwise a shudder-worthy scenario!

    on a different note, if you r willing to gv it more than overnight, i am making hair oils to help you 🙂

    1. Thanks darling for the vote of confidence and liking what I wrote. These things have been on my mind since ages… It felt good to put it down.
      And yes yes yes, hair oils pls yes!!!

    1. That’s so true Corinne. Our boys need to be brought up better. And we need to stop pulling our own sex down..

  2. It is just so sad and unjust! Every women derives to feel respected and safe especially in her own home. No one should be forced to have sex even with her own husband. Powerful post! #mg

    1. Thanks Mackenzie. It’s the sad truth thag in India marital rape is not considered legal. The law doesn’t recognize it and that says it all about how it is in India for the women.

  3. But times they are changin’….so there is hope. The clouds do have silver linings. Yes I agree, it will take an eternity to change mindsets, that’s why we in the development sector work with behavioural change communication.

    Amen to a progressive India!

    1. Yes they seem to be Natzee but then you have a priest raping a 16 yr old, which is shushed, mass molestation of women because they were out at night on the streets to celebrate new years or simply women pulled out of cars during the jat stir, raoed and then all shushed up – then one wonders if times are indeed changing…
      Don’t mean to burst your bubbke-, but…….

  4. Shalini 300 years ftom today hopefully our blogs will also be read as records of our times. I agree to everything you said.Loved that our bladders are made of blotting paper .But this hind words in gaali using mothers snd dusters unfortunately are used in the English language very abundantly.
    I believe India actually has a lot going .If you and me together work maybe woman will stop taking nonsense snd stand up. I’m two third of the world men or women would not be allowed to wrote this .Let alone publish. Let’s push the boundaries and make the world better.
    Loved reading!

    1. Thank you for saying you liked reading my verbal diarrhoea..
      Honestly that’s what this tirade is. I see red when I see men peeing on the roads. Really makes me wonder abt their bladder issues.
      Chalo let’s build our world ourselves… A world where are kids are safe in school and us women on the streets n public spaces.

    1. Thanks Ruchie and I agree with that too. Women can be so strong in any given moment, yet so weak when it comes to defending their identity!

  5. That’s bitter truth woman are always underestimated and being judged weak and treated secondarily. Your article is the reflection of the true status of women’s in society I usually, come across village women’s who are malnourished and consider responsible either for giving birth to girl or infertility. Hope the scenario will change soon.

    1. Agree with that Dew! Its a shame when women are blamed for a female child and made to go through more, just to get a son! I also hope for a better future and scenario for the Indian woman!

  6. I liked your tongue-in-cheek humour, Shalz. In fact, I loved it! This is just what goes on in my mind when I think about our Indian Men-tality. It sends shivers down my spine just thinking what a million women go through on a daily basis. And, here we are, celebrating a day in honour of these victims! Women’s day…really!? And, the rest 364 days belong to the men….but, of course!

    1. Thanks so much Shilpa. Yes we do have such horrors and many more in our lives as Women, especially Indian women I feel.
      But celebrating the day should actually be about abating the crimes against women rather than just glorifying a day; wonder when we will really celebrate a woman ? 🙂

  7. As you said, I still don’t get it why men are so hellbent on dictating what a women should wear. Or do. Or say. Or live. It’s ridiculous and beyond my understanding. That part about blotting paper is hilarious this strange Indian mentality has taken so many lives and is giving Indian men a really really bad name all around the world. And above all, we get that sadistic #notallmen hashtag garbage.

    1. Thanks so much for reading Raj – it feel good to have strong women like thyself to encourage such a post! I am grateful for that.
      Yes Indian men do have a bad name; but most of them still seem to be doing nothing to change this as they feel what is wrong with it!

  8. Bladders made of blotting paper made me laugh, and how! But the rest had me nodding my head.
    I have one simple theory, Men rule because women are not united.
    A mil and sil trouble a dil while the husband watches. Female colleagues won’t stand by their female colleagues, and the like.
    Just talking about Feminism makes women believe they are doing their bit.
    It’s a sad and confused world out there and your post just bares truths we are all trying to ignore, under the guise of postitivity.

    1. Sigh! agree Mayuri but that is the truth about us women! Put 10 women together in a room and see the groupism happen! I have had awkard moments when I have had get together with my group of friends where most dont know each other or meeting for the first time and then I can see some of them sizing the others up on handbag, shoes and what not!
      So despite all our feminity and intelligence, we still indulge in such petty behaviour! Our insecurities, chip on the shoulder and jealousies – really make us a crazy bunch!
      But I think we will unite against a man – remember chak de???? I think we will all do just that, no matter our differences. what say?

  9. You have made very strong points on our mindset and the place we accord women in society. Our mentality towards women is the biggest shame and there is nothing that makes us proud.

    1. Hey Vishal thanks for reading this and taking it so positively in your stride to accept that such things do happen. Its encouraging to have a male response on this post! Thank you for the support!

  10. You’ve got to wonder sometimes how human beings became so patriarchal. I guess though it boils down to land and physical strength and somewhere along the way, it was decided by men {who else?!} that women were the ‘weaker sex’. I’m so sick and tired of the misogyny and sexism that continues to exist not just in India but in other countries too. I despair that I will not see much change in my lifetime. Great post Shalz!

    1. Exactly Sanchie- I am tired of this nuisance too. Check out the Holi ads on TV these days (happens every year) they all talk about men misbehaving with Holi as an excuse. WHY? I mean why do we still have these ads – why cant they be more progressive or enforce the message of a fierce punishment to such offenses??
      Why is it still cool to chedo a woman on Holi and get away with it? Damn these stupid ads, this mindset and ……. damn this all!!
      Dont despair – better times are coming Sanchie. They will take time and strength to come out but they will…
      Till then pepper spray zindabad!! 😉

  11. A post that reflects the chaos of our times when it comes to being a woman. I am a perennial optimist. I tend to look for the light at the end of the tunnel. We are better off than our counterparts centuries ago, surely. 🙂

    1. Ha ha ha Preethi – I agree actually to looking forward but at best of times, the hypocricy and frustration because of it takes over and something like this comes out. I also keep my fingers crossed for better times for us women in this world! Cheers

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