“To err is human, to forgive, divine” – Alexander Pope
But what if I am not in the mood to be divine?
As a child I would often see my parents dismiss things – bad things said about them or people fighting with them. On the other hand, I would get very irked by this and fight with them as to why do they let such things slide? Over time I realised that they are just non-confrontational folks and simply avoid altercations for the ease of things.
When someone commits an act of transgression against me, I go through a whole gamut of emotions. From hurt to anger to humiliation to disillusionment to hurt! I feel betrayed and want to lash back in the same coin.
Why is it that, the moment they say sorry, everything is supposed to be good to go? Why am I labelled difficult, arrogant and stubborn when I say I need time to mull over things and cool down?
Could I please not have a time out?
The perp who has wronged me needs to understand how much devastation is caused by their wrong doing. I need time to sift through my pain and anger, to even consider forgiving them.
I am sincerely irked by the overtly patronising folks who think they can “sort” this out for me. Listen dude, it’s my effing feelings and my effing hurt. Could you please back off and let me be?
But no! The eminently sagacious denizens would like to play peacemakers; whether I want it or not. So then of course, I blow up (again, they say)
Their logic is that I am not being rational as I am too worked up. I am also being very stubborn by refusing to bend down.
Wow! Just wow!!!!
May I ask you what/who appointed you the Holy Grail on forgiveness?
And when I say I am ready to forgive, it doesn’t mean everything is as hunky dory as it ever used to be. My trust remains broken and it may or may not get repaired over time.
Again, it’s seen as my refusal to yield to common sense.
Forgiveness is equated with reconciliation when it’s not. By forgiving, I am choosing to move on. I am letting go of what you did to me. I don’t want to make you pay for what you did.
But this by no means should be taken as a sign of getting together. Faith or trust is hard-earned and once broken; it’s as difficult to repair as a break in a mirror.
So excuse me if I chose to not to be divine!
What’s your take on forgiveness, dear readers? By not reconciling, am I seeking retribution in your opinion? How do you deal with wrong doers?
This post was originally published as a Guestpost on Shilpa’s blog for Write Tribe festival of words blogathon.
Have you checked out the Bday celebrations on my blog all of this month as its turned one as a self hosted blog? Loads of prizes to be won; so hurry and submit your guestpost too.
Linking up with
Corinne for #mondaymusings