Balance- Take on something that you avoid or hate
The second card that I have pulled out of this deck today morning is about Balance which is all about – “Discipline is choosing between what you want NOW and what you want MOST” .
It essentially was telling me to do something that I normally don’t like to do, procrastinate over and generally avoid as much as I can. It got me thinking and I had a huge list of it:
- calling up people for a chat / customary calls on festivals
- spending time with family
- cooking food
I could think of these three as my topmost TO-NOT-DO….. (not writing the entire list)
Guess what? The universe is still guiding me and I have ended up doing all three of these today.
Over the last 3-4 days, most of my family and friends have called me up for Diwali from far far lands and near ones too. Most have messaged me on Whatsapp/messenger too and now I am thinking of calling them back instead of messaging. My parents have come to visit me for a week and I cooked all morning to ensure there are two home cooked meals for them.
How am I feeling, you might as well ask? Relieved for sure as it’s a lot of work done (as far as I am concerned). But there is that glow of satisfaction of having accomplished something difficult ( I can see you wondering why since this is probably routine stuff for you) that I normally try my hardest to not do.
I don’t know why exactly am I so uncomfortable in catching up over the phone with people or why do I hesitate to call? Is it because it’s so impersonal on account of it not being face-to-face? But then so is messaging; and I am quite adept at that.
Or is it the fear of disturbing the other person as he/she might be at work or doing something important or sleeping or………………. To some extent this is a reason why I do hesitate and prefer to message which can be answered at convenience without the fear of rejection; unless someone takes 24 hours to get back to me!!!
Partially it’s also the fear of rejection that I feel when the person doesn’t answer their phone. It makes me feel that they don’t like me or want to talk to me.
How silly is this – right?
Insecure – yes!
But then this is me; I am going to ponder on this during my meditation sessions and see if I can come up with an answer. I am normally not an unsocial person and love to chat up strangers on a bus. So why this?
Anyone out there who goes through this? Do you also put off calling people? It would be great to hear some advise or pointers to get rid of this feeling; so my lovely readers I look forward to your comments on this post.