Guestblog, Opinion Column

[ #Opinion ] Image Shaming | #Guestpost by Sanch |

-body-shame-breasts-slut-shaming-women-issues-harassment-opinion-guest-post- sanchie-stud-slut-lifestyle-choices-image-shaming

He’s a stud, she’s a slut!

Picture this: a twenty-something single guy. Working in a job he enjoys. Paying bills. Living in a share house. Catching up with mates after work or on the weekends. Meeting girls either via Tinder or through his mates. He doesn’t want to be tied down in a relationship. He is open about that to them. He hooks up with them – a one night stand, sometimes once more. And then continues. After all, it’s about having fun. He wants to live life to the fullest. He doesn’t want to settle down.

His mates think he’s a stud. Look at all the girls he gets. The hot ones, the not-so-hot ones — he must be great in bed. They shout him drinks as he regaled them with his escapades. It’s all in good fun and after all, sex never hurt anyone.

Now picture this: a twenty-something single girl. Does exactly the same things as the guy. Is independent. Works in a job she loves. Does not want to be in a committed relationship and is open about it. She meets several guys; goes out on dates and hooks up with them. She has one-night stands, maybe some more. After all, she is having fun. Living the life she wants without feeling tied down.

BUT…the automatic response from the guys she sees, the male and female friends she has is not the same as the guy. Rather, she is deemed a slut. After all, what well-brought up woman with morals would sleep around?

This double standard between men and women’s sex lives has been common for years. It spans cultures and ages. I remember while growing up in India, it was more about which girl was ‘girlfriend material’ and which one was ‘wife material’. Back then, apparently the ‘girlfriend’ material girls were the ones who would date. But the wife? She would be the pure virgin the ‘stud’ would eventually marry after having his share of fun with the ‘girlfriends’.

Sadly, not much has changed in 2017.

Women are still subjected to scrutiny over their sex lives. God forbid, a single adult woman chooses to have sex with a man she is not in a committed relationship with. The judgements begin from both men and women. She is labelled a slut because apparently, that’s the worst thing you can call a woman. Or she is viewed as ‘easy’ or ‘loose’.

Men, on the other hand, can continue to ‘spread their seed’ because apparently, that’s a good thing. Or the way nature intended.

I call bullshit on that.

-body-shame-breasts-slut-shaming-women-issues-harassment-opinion-guest-post- sanchie-stud-slut-lifestyle-choices-image-shaming 30-something Aussie | Writer | Imperfect | Feminist | Bibliophile | Coffee snob | Red wine drinker | Outdoorsy | Beach babe | Fitness Fanatic | Foodie | Mum to 2 kitties |

You can find me on:

My blogs: Living my Imperfect Life (Personal) and Sanch Writes (All things writing)




This is a Guest post written for a campaign on my blog for creating an awareness on how much we put others or ourselves down on physical aspects, personality traits, financial status, perceived notions and mindsets conditioned by years of nonsensical vagaries.

Popularly called Body/Slut shaming, its gripping us all in epic proportions on a psychological levels and creating havoc in the minds of the young women and men who are more susceptible to peer pressure or should I say “Peer pleasure” ?

Look forward to seeing my readers reaction to this and many more to come!

Other Guestposts on this topic can be seen here


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7 thoughts on “[ #Opinion ] Image Shaming | #Guestpost by Sanch |

  1. There’s no doubt about it – what’s sauce for the goose is not sauce for the gander. Sadly this is the way of the world no matter how much we shout about it. This is one of those givens like the sun rising from the east. There have always been people who have not conformed to what society expects of them. Believe it or not but a 20 something Indian girl told me that the new ask among marrying men is to have a girl who is NOT a virgin. It seems that men prefer girls/men who have had some ‘experience’. I don’t know if this is true and if ALL Indian men of today subscribe to this theory but I thought I’d share this very interesting observation that I’ve heard from a reliable source.

    1. Really? That’s news to me. Then again, I haven’t been in India for 12 years but I still get people in India asking when I’ll ‘settle down’.

    2. I hear you Sunita and yes that theory is slightly true. I do know of a few men who wnated an “experienced” wife to a virgin as it would mean a better sex life! There are men who prefer women who are willing to experiment, have travelled, seen a few things and generally know how to have a good time in life. The mere vision of a homely creature who cooks and cleans is no longer their checklist for a perfect wife.
      Having said that, such men are rare and few – but make terrific husbands – yes I do know a few!!!!

  2. I’ve lost the count of people who have called me “girlfriend” material. Since 4 years I’ve been an awesome wife and I still feel like a girlfriend. It is the society and the upbringing of some people that is to be blamed for this.

    Hopefully, things will change in the future.

    1. It’s a pretty sad state of affairs when if you’re confident, assertive and independent, you are assumed to be ‘girlfriend’ material

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