Silent Spectators [ #Guestpost ]

self-love-silent-spectators-guest-post-shalzmojosays-empathyA very warm welcome to Dipika Singh, a freelance educator who loves writing from heart. Having worked in Banking and Hospitality industry for over a decade, today she enjoys her dual role as a mother and a part-time associate professor.

She began blogging journey 7 months back with her blog which is all about today’s women and associated reads – Parenting, Lifestyle, Fiction, Reviews, Wellness… with  love from all quarters for her writing and stories gleefulblogger is gaining marks slowly but steadily.

Over to you Dipika……..

There are few things in life which leave a déjà vu kind of feeling lingering behind – like I so much wanted to write for Shalini’s blog (since read her posts on a Blogging challenge we participated together) and her Blog’s ONE-year celebration gave me an opportunity to write and feature here. Many Congratulations for happy first 😊

Silent Spectators – Self Love proclaiming all consciousness of a reactive mind!

I once read somewhere – “Love Yourself Enough to Take Actions Required for YOUR Happiness”, and this kind of stuck to me forever now. For me happiness is just not fulfilment of desires/needs but also a feeling of gratitude towards life. As a part of this social system it’s just not the family that makes us happy, but also the society.

Circle of Love

Being brought up in a joint family of a small town, where family, extended family and everyone in near surrounding’s are called as – uncles/ aunts/ brothers/ sisters/ rubber-band cousins. Sharing kitchen secrets or some yummy delights, calling over for lunch/ dinner never required any special occasion. Same with the advises – unasked, uncalled advises! Even if you don’t need them, they (family & friends) will illuminate you with their directions until you accept with folded hands & smiling face.

After moving out from my small town I missed known smiling faces the most, but at the same time got my freedom from all those prying eyes. I loved this newly found independence, it was exhilarating – go anywhere, do anything, wear what you like, nothing required approval or an added burden of ‘what will they say?’ Life is beautiful and liberating, loved the transformation from dependent to self-sufficient. But what you see good superficially, does not always turn out to be true.

Is humanity still alive?

Life in a metro is a challenging task – the same independence you were craving so such sometimes bite you for the same reason – people are interested in you – for all wrong reasons, they want to know what is happening in your life, will look at you from privy of their confinements, follow you hidden behind the curtains but when you seek them in person or need – woof! vanish!

Many cases lately have shaken me from inside out; a woman was harassed on a busy street in broad daylight, but no one came to rescue her. A child was beaten black & blue by the father but no one stopped him to not thrash that small kid. An elderly lady fell down from stairs at station, scores of people crossed by but no one helped her. A man met with an accident on highway, people were busy capturing him on video but never helped him – he later bled to death. A young girl been stalked, she asks for help from passers-by no one heeds her request. She lost confidence to ever step out of her house’s confinements again. These are just not few random cases of apathy but it’s happening so rampant that it gives me jitters to think – is humanity still alive?

Self love at what cost?

Just a couple of days back I had an altercation with a lady on local railway station, I was correct on my point of discussion but she was quite loud on her tone that I backed off to avoid a matinée show for commuters. NO ONE told her to stop acting weird even after poking a wrong rule, but many came to me later and said you were right!! I asked – WHY you did not say it when it mattered the most? ‘Who will take stress of going into right/wrong fight madam, I am telling you now that you were correct.’ Period.

So, this self-love is such appalling that it’s killing the sense of belongingness from the society. I, Me & Myself is just not a funny movie but a harsh reality. I am living in this apartment for 10 years, but not sure if I know all 110 flats occupants. We meet on annual gatherings, smile, eat and wave off. That’s it! There is no sense of connectivity expect a WhatsApp group to share Society dues and reasons to fight for.

Need for empathy

Regard for self-happiness is crucial but at the death of moral consciousness? I do not agree with such self-love or happiness, maybe I am old school or a small-town girl (even after staying more in metro’s than my hometown) but I do not follow this pattern. As a Mother, my first priority to teach my kid is compassion, empathy once you have love in heart for others – life will become beautiful by itself.

self-love-silent-spectators-guest-post-shalzmojosays-empathyMother Teresa once said –

Not all of us can do GREAT things, but we can do small things with great LOVE.

 This post has been written as a guestpost to celebrate Shalzmojo’s first bday as a self hosted blog



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19 thoughts on “Silent Spectators [ #Guestpost ]

  1. Thank you so much Shalini for featuring me on your blog. Its like a dream come true for me and I am glad you liked what small I wrote. More power to you and happy 1st blog anniversary

    1. You are so so welcome Dipika – I am grateful for all the love and warmth you have showered upon my blog!! I look forward to hosting you yet again!!! Cheers

  2. You’re right on so many points there Dipika – moving from a small town to a big city is something one looks forward to but it isn;t always as much tunas one imagines. People are bustier, more bothered about their routines, their work and prefer to keep to themselves. That makes one feel lonelier. There are advantages too of course but the warmth is often missing.

  3. Well said Dipika, each and every point you addressed is so true. It has become a sole battle of survival in this vicious world. I still remember the day when i was trying to find my way to the right office block in an IT park in Bangalore. In a hurry i tripped and fell down. My phone got thrown away to a corner and the laptop bag I was carrying hit the ground hard along with me. I got badly hurt on my elbows and knees and was struggling to get on feet. I clearly remember 5 people crossed by staring at me but none of them helped. The point here is whether i needed help or not. But the lack of sensibility in people. That incident cleared the clouds covering my thoughts about this society!

    1. You speak my mind Keethi, issue is not I need the help or not, but as we were taught basic human values all through our life seems so fake today. I have seen many times youngsters sitting on seats reserved for elderly or not giving any heed to pregger standing. I make sure to teach all these basic human values to my little one. Thank you for reading and connecting.

  4. Lovely post, Dipika. I understand and have experienced almost everything you mentioned. it is tough to teach our kids compassion when we see it losing its meaning every day in front of us. This isn’t self love. It is the fear to own up and support anything.
    Congratulations on the anniversary, Shalz!

    1. Thank you Varsha, owning up to something when we have courage to come out from the vicious circle of self obsession/love/concentric life. Hope with our hard work & decent guidance next generation can bring in some change.

  5. Well written and very interesting read – the small things, small acts of kindness can mean so much for others – and to dare to stand up when someone needs you. Just empathy, compassion… Great guest post – and happy blog anniversary Shalini:-)

    1. Thank You so much Eli for reading and liking it. I stay true to the lessons learnt in childhood and simple words of kindness and small little things can actually bring happiness to many faces. Glad you like the post.

  6. There’s a fine line between minding your own business and minding other peoples’ business and other people minding your business. I find that most people think it is ok to mind other people’s business and actually get offended when you tell them to mind their’s. City people do have a heart but they also have a sensitivity that respects another’s space.

  7. While I’ve heard and read about the lack of concern and help among city-folks, I have always seen people stepping up to help and support each other. There are extremely rare times when I do encounter people looking the other way.

    Several times I have tripped and fallen (clumsy me as always) and have always found people stopping to help me up. When arguments arise in the local train, several women back up the one who’s right. I’ve seen people returning money that someone dropped, giving their coveted seat for older citizens, and many more such small acts of kindness.

    I sincerely believe that we have more good in us than bad. Sometimes, people are just wrapped up in their stressful lives which may be why they are too busy pitying themselves instead of being sympathetic to others. The best way to witness city people being kind and going out of their way to help is during any calamity – that’s when you will see everyone come together to help each other.

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