This is a beautiful card for it talks about balance by finding one’s center – something we all crave for but are unaware how to reach there. I am one of those too.
What is the center, you may well ask? Is it the center of the body? Is it the center of the mind? Or does it mean the soul?
I guess with each one, the perception would differ. For me, being centered involves being focused; focused on the here and now.
I have lived my life with loads of plans and resolutions (like everyone else) and had chalked out this entire journey with all my ups (mostly) and downs (naturally some would be there) and was content skipping along a happy tangent. Since the plan had been laid out, the bumps (miseries) were ignored or jumped over with the positive thought that “this too shall pass”.
But it didn’t! Unhappiness piled up to such an extent that I started having health issues, depression and a sense of listlessness enveloped me. I no longer cared. What was the point?, my mind reasoned.
It all came to a bust one day; my plans went down the drain and I accepted the uneasy truth (screaming and kicking) and took the plunge since there was no other way out. I crossed over to the dark side with no fixed plan in mind. Again the mind reasoned – whats the point?
It took a few years for the mind to calm down; the heart to believe again; but with a difference. I no longer made plans. I started to take life as it comes. No, it’s not as simple as that. It wasnt. It never is.
I doubted all the seemingly good stuff that came my way; looked at it with scepticism. Thought, something so good will not happen to me!!
I didn’t open up instantly with people as I used to earlier. I was content being on my own. I made plans with myself to watch a movie, shop, walk in the park….
So did I become a loner?
Maybe initially yes but as time passed by, I realised I was very comfortable with myself and could spend time, thoughts and activities just on my own. I was content to be in the present tense and not look at what could have been or what could be!
Of course the doubts lingered and wishes cropped up in the head; but overall I learnt to be happy with what I have in hand rather than counting the ones in the bush.
What do you believe is your center? What do you do to find your balance?