I was hugging myself happily in anticipation of getting ready. For you see, today I would wear that dress which I had ordered online and worked very hard to fit into. Yay!!!!
Slipping into the dress, I twirled a little in from to the mirror, loving how it flared up and then fell softly around my knees. An off shoulder affair with very frilly tie ons, I loved how it showed off the tattoo on my back.
Floating on air (for I knew I looked good), I stepped into the living room where my parents were dressed and waiting for me. Beaming, I picked up my bag and headed for the door when my mom called out is this what you are going to wear for today?
All my happiness leaked out like air escaping a punctured balloon!
Why oh why does my mom do this to me every time; for you see my mom thinks I wear overtlyy “revealing” clothes. But that’s a story for another day, what I really wanted to talk about here was why do we get so conscious when someone fingers our choices?
I was so sure I was looking good – right? Then why did this comment from my mom make me cringe and hate it immediately?
Why can’t I stay confident in my choices?
Besides, I know her too well. So either I shouldnt have worn something like this or be prepared to hear her comment and handle it with equanimity.
Why do I go to pieces over it every time, over every choice thats questioned? Why do I feel pressurised to justify them?
Ah! this is the long-suffering tale of parental conditioning which further stems from the outdated notions the Indian society has imposed on its denizens. And it’s not just parents but well-meaning friends and peers too who will try to tell you why your choices are not the right ones.
Their insistence to “fit- in” baffles me to the core.
By what standards are they measuring my choices? Even they don’t know for I often hear, “this is the way everyone does it. Why can’t you?”
Never mind that they may be doing ten things which don’t conform to the societal norms but then they are clever and hide it. Innocent till proven guilty!
I want to lash out at all of them to mind their business; are you sure all is well there? More importantly I need to back my way of life and stand up for myself without the fear of being judged or ostracised.
But then I dont want to feel isolated and cut off either. I do connect with like minded peeps on and off who bloster my confidence. We are a “Limited edition” tribe till the judgement stops or atleast lessens.
It’s a permanent stand-off (for now) and we are faced with it everyday in every way of our life; I just wonder if the
women single women divorced and single women have to deal with it more?
Whats your personal experience/opinion on this?
Do you have the courage to stand up to your choices?
Are you stressed to conform everytime?
Linking up with Corinne for #MondayMusings
My blog will turn one year as self hosted and to celebrate this milestone, I have planned a GIVEAWAY all the month of september! Details as below:
So what are you waiting for? Put on your thinking cap and type away…. ☘