Guestblog, TLC

Embracing my whole self is loving myself! [ Self Love ]

My blog turns one this September as a Self hosted blog and so I decided to kick up some birthday celebrations and invited people to write for me.

I am so fortunate to have Kashmira Mody ( Life coach) as my first guest for this promotion for she embodies self love. I met her during a self-improvement workshop last year (which she was conducting) and what do I say, it was love at first sight for me. Her bubbly persona, vivaciousness and warmth makes her a cherished friend for life.

She has designed this amazing deck of cards for self love, meditation and mental well-being which I used to write my posts for the #NaBloPoMo last November. The posts and deck of cards were a big hit with folks.

You could connect with her at: 

Embracing my whole self is loving myself!

Since I promised Shalini that I would write a post on self love, I have been seeking the most profound insight I have on this topic. And here it is: Self love is the act & understanding of accepting, celebrating & finally dropping your whole self.  Huh you say?  Let me explain…

I grew up privileged & entitled in many ways

I had affluent parents, access to a rich & broad-spectrum education and a sharp brain. However, the real gift of my childhood was that I was raised in a gender-blind home & environment.  I did not know that being a girl and then a woman was somehow a thing – something that could define who I wanted to be or what I wanted to do.  I spent my childhood playing cricket with the boys, reading mystery novels & romances alike, loving science enough to study it & make it a career and always being smart-mouthed & independent.

So imagine what happens when the first boy/man who I liked says to me: Kash, you are more male than female – your brain is too sharp!


Boom! All I heard was that being intelligent or capable or financially independent and being female were somehow mutually exclusive.  And I went on to attract several men who told me the same thing and then even women joined in the fun till I began to believe it too.  Every hard-earned milestone I reached never matched that voice in my head that reminded me of my “un-femaleness”.  Each success was just proof that I was incapable of being fully female.


Fortunately, I had a breakdown that forced me to stop and take stock.  Yes fortunately – else I would have just kept going with my 2-faced life.  Successful on the outside, unworthy & unloved on the inside!  It took me years of therapy, meditation, reflection and understanding to learn how to embrace my whole self – my sharp brain, my keen wit, my love of cricket is as much part of my unique femininity as is my empathy and my ability to nurture.

I share my story and my journey as much as I can only so that you don’t have to take as long to figure it out – you can choose right now to embrace yourself with all its beauty & its glorious imperfections.  You can choose to love yourself too.

On an additional note:

My blog will turn one year as self hosted and to celebrate this milestone, I have planned a GIVEAWAY all the month of september! Details as below:

we are Inviting creative #guestposts on first-birthday-giveaway-blog-blogging-self-hosted-shalzmojosays-prize-guestpost-writing-promotion
1) One giveaway #winner announced every week of #september
2) Everyone can participate but #prizes will be mailed to an #Indian address.
3) All decisions will be final.
4) Must be following my blog & Instagram account.
5) Tag 3 folks on my insta post for the giveaway
6) Please submit original content; no backdated posts.


 1st september 2017 for Week #1
7th september 2017 for Week #2
14th september 2017 for Week #3
21st september 2017 for Week #4
🍥 a special prize for some interesting comments on my blog posts 🍥
🎡 one prize to my most consistent reader in last one year🎪

So what are you waiting for? Put on your thinking cap and type away…. ☘

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19 thoughts on “Embracing my whole self is loving myself! [ Self Love ]

  1. First of all Congrats on the blog anniversary Shalini!!! This post is simply awesome. Treating our self in a right way is mostly forgotten. Unfortunately we take advantage on our self on not understanding and accepting which makes life more messier.I am sure this post would be an eye opener.

      1. Thank you Shalini for this invite….it has made me reflect deeply on my journey and given me a new insight. I see that this 25 year journey that I took towards self-love has actually become the basis of the work I do. So, it has worked out in the most beautiful and complete way!

        1. Thank you my love for baring your heart out in such a brilliant manner! Your post has found many echoes and I am just bursting with pride and love for you!! Muaaah and hugs Kashmira!

  2. That’s a story Kashmira, many would relate too. My parents too brought us up as children and not as a son and a daughter. That changed a lot of things for me but my environment was very different. As a kid, I started believing that my family is different which was the right thing. I feel that only when ever household changes, girls will feel comfortable in their skin.
    A good post and thank you for sharing your story!

  3. That’s an inspiring story! Thank you shalini for hosting this post. I have been slammed my whole life for my choices (acc. to many they are not like every other girl), Still i decided to pave my own path. After reading this post i feel more confident! Wonderful post indeed!

    1. God we women have all gone through this shit; our generation seems to be fighting this out so much- all thanks to our lovely conditioning!! More power to you Keerthi

  4. Wow…I could have written some of this post myself. It’s interesting how there is the mentality that if you are assertive, successful and independent, you are not very ‘feminine’. I figured that was fine but it’s also interesting to see how many men are scared of that.

    1. Hear Hear!! I so totally agree Sanch. This mentality of the other gender to put women down just because they are intelligent / independant is just so so infuriating. I have totally loved this post by Kashmira!!

    2. hi my friend…yes and it has been empowering for me to know that this was not just my struggle and that I could grow past it and own my whole self in all its beauty and power!

  5. Shalini you are superstar for showing the courage in telling that you were born with luxury but there were prejudices. It’s extremely sad how we are conditioned to believe in the wrong. In my family, meaning extended relatives, who doggedly believe in class. There is no point arguing with them, I have come to realize. Now, I keep a distance from them while at the same, being diplomatic. I have realized some people can never change.

    Power to you, lady. You have come your own way through your achievements and thoughts. It’s a battle won.

    1. Thanks so much for the praise Vishal but this guest post has been written by Kashmira Mody and all credit goes to her for being so boldly expressive with it! Yes our conditioning proves to be our very undoing; our generation seems to be fighting it the most these days!!

    2. Hi Vishal…thank you for your kind words and sharing. It is my experience that all we can do and need to do is work on ourselves, heal ourselves, own our story and live our best lives. And those who will ride with us become our tribe – the rest must undertake their own journey and need to be set free with compassion.

      1. Keep believing Kashmira. Your honesty and courage are what makes us grow as a person. I agree that we need to work constantly to improve, own our story in this incredible journey. It’s empowering!

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