“Restrictions generate yearnings. You want what you cannot have.”
― Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain
Okay so I seem to have had enough of the lock down restrictions! This constant hand washing after touching something or after coming inside from a trip out of the house! Wearing the mask at all times, even in the car. My cousin and her son were challaned in Delhi while they were running an errand – so yes this is happening. Getting upset on seeing people with the masks on the chin or not wearing at all. The itch to police them has to be kept in check with some serious mental talk to self. I am ready to burst with all these restrictions breathing down my neck.
I have been living on my own since 2011 and apart from a few bouts of panic over the “lonely” situation initially, I have grown to love my company. So much so that not just eating out, shopping, watching a movie, etc on my own but I have taken to traveling solo too. I was actually happy about being on my own when the lock down was announced for I couldn’t imagine being cooped up with my family members. Growing number of complaints on colony WA group and Facebook status updates, reaffirmed my faith in this thought.
It also helped that I had a full one month of holiday time in the hills of Uttarakhand just before the lock down happened. In fact I came back from my trip two days before the restrictions began. So I was buoyant on that happy time. I rang in my birthday, two weeks into the lock down, with great elan at home and all by myself.
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But somewhere towards the end of April, mental lethargy kicked in with a vengeance and then all hell broke loose in gradual doses in my life. I was listless and almost comatose with lethargy. Couldn’t focus on reading a book or TV watching. Tried writing and failed so miserably that for two months there were no new entries on the blog. Walks and yoga routines were haphazard occurrence as and when the guilt would hit me over it.
I realized the downward spiral when I began to get concern filled messages on WA and SM, inquiring about my whereabouts. You see I had stopped posting online anywhere about anything at all and the e-silence was weird for my friendly followers. Yikes! reality check happened then and I did manage to do some damage control to spring back a little.
Pick me up
Started writing a bit, joined online Yoga classes, chopped off my hair, babysat my cousin’s furry baby and tried to read on Audible. I started walking at the Aravali Bio Diversity park almost every other morning and began to enjoy the rains a lot. Kitchen experiments began again and I started taking care of myself consciously.
Things changed when my cousin went for a birthday holiday and left her furry baby with me once again. I hosted them for high tea when they all came back to pick him up and I got to “socialize” after a long time. What a relief that was and how charged I felt over it. Social interaction with real people; my people felt so so good.
I went out to get my Aadhaar card updated for which I had to stand for four hours in line in the hot sun. After two weeks, I was sent a notification that the update failed and I need to go again – aaargh! Tried to apply for a learner’s license as mine expired. Boy this was again such a waste of time. Ditching my moral stand and will now pay a tout to get both these works done ASAP. Why is it such a pain to get sarkari work done in India?
Let me just focus on all the good things about September and be thankful for each and every one of them.
Gifts of love
♥ Soumya sent me a book I had been dying to read – Children of Virtue and Vengeance by Tomi Adyemi
♥ The Moringa plant shared by one of my neighbors last month finally sprouted fresh leaves. So I didn’t end up killing it thankfully.
♥ Big B got me a beautiful pair of ear rings from her Leh road trip and a gorgeous white Tibetan honor scarf. Now I am dying to wear a saree and flaunt these ear rings!!
♥ Met up with RSM for a tea date and boy were we both glad to be out of the house and in each other’s company. So engrossed were we that we chatted non-stop for 3.5 hours till her husband called to tell her its pouring so don’t let me go home. You see the road my house is on, turns into Venice as soon as it starts to pour. And yes we hadn’t even bothered to peek outside even once where it was thundering and showering like anything.
♥ This was a birthday month for some of my favorite peeps. It was such a catharsis to chat with them and laugh over silly things. I tell you school friends are the best!!
♥ Blogging friends made some connections over chats and calls which really warmed me up. They have so much faith in me and my writing – please bless them all God and in Cash!!!!
♥ Archie came in for a long stay of almost 2 weeks and we had a great cuddle time.
♥ My maid came back after 6 months and I am just overjoyed to see her. The house is sparkling once again which is such a big relief.
♥ Its that time of the year when the Shiuli is blooming right now. Every morning its such a joy to see the roads and garden paths carpeted with these beautiful blooms.
♥ I have been enjoying the home made preparations from a home chef in my housing colony. This month I really dug into the papdi chat and aloo tikki from her kitchen and was in instant food coma for a while.
TV & Books
♥ Watched some pretty interesting stuff on TV this month and out of it The Social Dilemma stood out for me. Do watch it if you haven’t yet. Its on Netflix.
♥ Finished reading just about 2 books this month and looks like I won’t be able to complete my TBRCHALLENGE2020. But you know what I am just happy I could get it started this year and do as much as I could.
♥ Been working on a few changes to improve my content, audience and SEO, etc. Happy to report things are looking so great for my blog. Well the analytics say it all – so proud of myself and thankful to the Universe.
That’s it for me this month Folks! Wishing you all a blissful October ahead!
Hey I am looking for guest posts for my December 2020 collab. Just in case this interests you, head to this post for all the details.
Joining up with Vidya for the Gratitude Circle Link
⇐You can catch my August 2020 Gratitude post here⇒
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4 thoughts on “Restrictions generate yearnings for what you can’t have | Gratitude |”
I know many people with families have been struggling during the lockdown, Shalz. Am glad it’s just the two of us (and our dogs) and we know how to respect each other’s space. Also, since we’re basically introverts the official lockdown and self-imposed lockdown have been bearable.
Was so happy to read your gratitude list. Thanks to your trip to Uttarkhand, we’ve been getting those wonderful reviews here.
Glad to know that you are doing better and that your blog is ‘blossoming’. All the best, always!
That bit is the most important thing- respecting each other’s space. Glad to see you coping well in these times Corinne. I am happy to hear you have been liking my reviews from Uttarakhand – that vacation seems such a dream now.
Wishing you a blessed October ahead <3
Since the beginning of March things are going up and down in the mental and emotional department for me. 🙂 I am surrounded by noise, thanks to my kids, and I am yearning for some good quiet me time. I did get a little silent time last month though. 🙂
Your post made me smile as I could connect with the sentiments in here. It’s terrible that you had to stay in the sun for 4 hours and didn’t get your aadhaar card fixed despite that torture.
Wishing you a wonderful and peaceful October. <3
Yeah we all have been in this boat, one way or the other and if things are to be understood, we are in for a very long haul. I wish to see the light at the end of the tunnel but right now that is nowhere in sight. Some days keeping the peace is difficult and the mental demons do take over. I am just grateful for my circle of loved ones who keep me sane and in place.
Wishing you a very blessed and peaceful October ahead too Vini!